Feel the Fear?

Do you have an overwhelming, all consuming fear, realizing that your familiar world (comfortable or not), is changed, and likely gone forever?

That fear and sense of doom may be good, or bad.  Depending on your cirvumstances, fear is exactly what you should feel today.  Also, fearmay be a danger sign, and you need to take immediate corrective action.

Let's dig deeper.

If you are a True Christian, you should feel at peace, happy, excited, and totally involved with your relationship with God.

If you claim to be a True Christian, and you feel any fear, then something is amiss, all is not asc it should be, you are living a contradiction.

If you are a non-Christian or a luke-warm Christian, you should be feeling a sense of dread, an all-consuming fear of what soon comes.  You know the familiar world you grew ip in no longer exists.  That former life is gone, and you know it's never coming back.

You don't know what's coming at you next.  You may feel you need to get ready, but can't get fully motivated and get going.

Non-Christians are 100% correct to feel fear today.  If you don't feel fear as you should, you are asleep, clinicly depressed, or deceived.  You need to wake up, smell the coffee, and get moving.

Whichever of the 4 categories you're currently in, you can alway upgrade for free, after as little as a few hours effort, and become 100% free from fear.

Sounds good?

Download a copy of God's 26 Commandments for Christians, and implement it immediately.

Table on fear feelings, what you should be feeling, why, and what to do about it.

Please leave your comments below, so that others can better understand, and lesrn from your life experiences.

Bad or Broken Marriage

Can you help Bill save his marriage?

Bill's marriage (or what's left of it), depends on his spouse, their individual commitments to the marriage, Love vs. Apathy on the Marriage Meter, awareness, repentance, forgiveness, anger vs. meekness, and getting God's help.

This posting is based upon Bill's sad case, where the wife suddenly decided to leave her husband Bill.  Bill is a pseudonymn to protect confidentiality.  If the circumstances for your marriage is the reverse (ie. the man decided to leave his wife), a similar approach to these recommendations should be taken.

Can Bill's marriage be saved?  Should Christians get divorced?  Should divorced Christian re-marry?  Should never-married Christians consider marrying somebody who is divorced?

These are tough questions.   They are tough questions because emotion runs deep.  They are also tough because there are significant consequences associated with wrong answers & assumptions.

Marriage is like a road.  Years, fortunes, and happiness can be wasted by traveling down the wrong road.  Some roads are 1-way only, and you can't do a U-turn.  Even if you make a U-turn, it's often a long way back to the fork in the road where you originally went wrong.

Sometimes people treat marriage like a take-out cup of coffee.  Once you are finished getting what you wanted (ie. the freshly brewed coffee, fixed just the way you like it), you are then left with an empty paper cup (ie. the marriage), something that is no longer wanted, far less useful, and less valuable than previously.

Before anybody gives up too soon on their marriage, discarding it like an empty paper coffee cup, you must consider where that forces you to go next.

A psychologist, psychiatrist, or marriage counsellor may have a few years of university education, followed by a few decades of on-the-job experience.

Can that compare to God's experience of designing and making all humans, knowing every thought they ever had, and what's best in all cases?  God's got all the answers, and He is willing to share His answers.  God's answers are in His Words, written in the Bible.

Fortunately, the Bible is fairly clear on most marriage and divorce cases that might arise, and by logic and analogies we can determine the correct answers where the Bible is silent.

I am neither a psychiatrict, nor psychologist, nor marriage counsellor, but I told Bill that all problems eventually have a solution.

I believe Bill is a Born Again Christian, who loves the KJV Bible.

Unequally Yoked Marriage?

I asked Bill, "Is your wife a Born Again Christian too?"

Bill likely knows her better than anybody else on the planet (I assume this is true for most good marriages, but is it true for marriages that are on the rocks?).

If she isn't currently Born Again, does Bill believe there is any hope she can become a Born Again Christian?

2 Cor 6:14 tells Christians not to be unequally yoked to non-believers.  Non-Born Again people play by a different set of rules, or no rules.

God knows Bill and his wife better than anybody.  In God and through God, all things are possible.  Therefore, whether Bill believes his wife is currently Born Again or otherwise, she could become Born Again through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The "significant emotional event" of separation from her husband may be the catalyst that deepens her faith in God.  That deepened faith, may in turn, cause marriage reconciliation.

However, Bill should neither try to make the separation more "significant" for her, nor more emotional than what will naturally occur without Bill forcing the issue.

Commitment, No Matter What!

It takes two willing people to make a marriage work.  If both people say "I am willing to do anything so as to make this marriage work", then the marriage will be a success by definition.  Failure is not possible.

However, if one or both say half heartedly, "I'll try", with a groan and roll of the eyes, then this mediocrity of commitment will doom the marriage and any reconciliation.

God does not want divorce.

I suggested that Bill must demonstrate to both God and his wife that Bill doesn't want divorce, and he is willing & eager to do whatever it takes to avoid divorce (provided it is not sinful and it glorifies God).

Bill should busy himself with DIY self improvement while he waits patiently for his wife to reconsider their marriage.  Bill must not lose hope.

There is always hope until his wife re-marries somebody else. Only if she re-marries is Bill released from his duty to wait.  If she re-marries, Bill must then move on in a Godly way with his life without his former wife.

Apathy

Supposedly, there was love between the spouses at some historic point in the dating and marriage process.  Where does the love go between the marriage ceremony & the decision to separate?

Hate is not the opposite of love.

The opposite of love is apathy (ie.  I just don't care any more").

While the needle on the Marriage Meter swings between love & hate, the marriage is alive.  When the needle on the "marriage meter" droops, then stops moving around "Apathy", the marriage is dead.  Fortunately, some marriages can be resuscitated and brought back to life.

Awareness, Repentence, Forgiveness

Since it was Bill's spouse who pulled the plug, it is she who will have to reverse course and reconsider her decision on their marriage.

Bill's job is to provide sufficient evidence for her to willingly change her mind.

It may require a "significant emotional event" in her life to get her to re-examine her beliefs, values, and assumptions.

The assumptions, especially the unannounced, implied, and/or erroneous assumptions are often the root cause of problems.

Even if she currently has a hardened heart, perhaps God can cause it to melt, or help her to become open for reconsideration.

Could Bill be luke-warm about marriage reconciliation,  or happy that she decided to leave?  Often the party who calls it quits feels they were dared into it, or pressured to quit, or coerced, or needed to send a strong signal to stop procrastination.

If however Bill is heart broken about his wife's decision to leave him, and Bill cries out to God in his grief, will not God grieve as well?

God created women to be man's lifelong partner.  God designed marriage so that man and woman become of one flesh at marriage.

How do you successfully rip a person in half by divorce (ie. The one, bonded flesh of a married couple)?

I therefore suggested that Bill pray to God.  God (or maybe the divorce process itself) could provide that "significant emotional event" for Bill's wife.

Anger vs. Meekness

Anger often arises in 1-sided or unilateral decisions made by one party that affects both parties equally.

Anger and lashing out can quickly make a bad situation worse.

Can Bill continue to remain kind, respectful, and loving towards his wife throughout the separation period, no matter how she may lash out at Bill?

Bill must find the necessary strength to do so if there is to be any chance of reconcilliation.

God's Help

Bill may need to call upon God to help Bill to find the necessary strength.  Continuous prayer may be necessary.  Private (ie. secret) fasting may be necessary as well.

Bill may be so desperate, so committed to his wife and marriage that he is willing to wear sackcloth and ashes to demonstrate to both himself and God that Bill is 100% commitment to reconciliation of his marriage.  What % of spouses in Year 2020 would be willing to go to this degree?

What would God think about someone who truly repents to this degree?

Maintaining a loving, respectful, kind, and friendly attitude towards someone who unilaterally decided to kill the marriage will not be easy.  See Mat 5:38-48 about turning the other cheek.

It is often said that a bad marriage is never 1-sided, there is lots of blame on both sides.  Is Bill able to see his errors & missed opportunities?

Is Bill fully aware of his sins within the marriage, the opportunities he missed, the actions he failed to take?  Is Bill willing to confess his sins to God?  Can Bill confess his sins to his spouse?  Can Bill forgive his wife's sins against Bill and their marriage?

Can Bill turn away from his past sins, and consistently model the actions & words of a Born Again Christian?

Here is a good video on divorce & re-marriage  for Christians:    https://youtu.be/-4QI3JDcxOs

After watching the video, also look at the video's comments (scroll to the bottom of all the YouTube videos offered as next selections).

Here is a second video that dives even deeper into the Bible and its holy guidance for marriage, separation, and divorce:   https://youtu.be/2G3GyHWIswA

Hopefully the video and my comments here give Bill (and hopefully others in similar circumstances) a window to see way down the road while he is standing at the fork in the road, trying to figure out the best path to take.

The Fork In The Road

To me, it seems Bill's choices at the fork in the road are:

1. reconciliation;
2. wait at fork in the road for time to heal all, or at least make the situation ready for a solution;
3. While waiting patiently at the fork, assess your role & actions in the marriage, then make the necessary changes in your own life so as to be a better person & better spouse, in the hope of future reconciliation;
4. Move on with your life without her & without anybody else;
5. Move on with your life while seeking a new woman;
6. Delay or avoid the divorce as long as possible, then if it becomes inevidible, reluctantly accept the divorce).
7. Do not attack her, nor practice tit for tat.  Instead, continue in love & kindness & gentleness towards her, as if she had never left you
8. Defend yourself from any of her attacks against you (if you must), but always with the minimal impact possible, and done in a loving, kind, & gentle way  (as a loving parent would do with a sick child lashing out due to their illness)
9. Resist her, fight her, and attack her in every legal manner, making her life a living hell on earth (not recommended, a sinful non-solution)
10. Combinations of two or more of these options simultaneously.

Keep it Positive, but not Sickly Sweet

A psychological study published in 1994 found that when spouses or dating couples maintained a 5:1 ratio (5 positive events for every 1 negative event) in the relationship, then the relationship continued to grow, deepen, and persist in love and trust.  At a 11:1 ratio, one of the spouses will eventually see their partner as weak, needy, and overly dependant upon them, leading to disrespect and apathy, and a falling away.  Below a 5:1 ratio, one or both spouses will feel alone, used, and a lack of caring from their partner.  These ratios were able to predict the strength and stability of the relationship up to 20 years into the future for 60% to 90% of the couples studied.

Can Bill learn something here, that will help Bill put his marriage back together again?

Trust

A final aspect is trust.  No marriage can survive without trust.  Trust is created, increased, and protected when all 4 critical factors are present:

• Benevolent best interest in the other party
• Open & honest communication
• Competency
• Predictable behaviour

Selfishness, narcissism, and similar sins kill the altruistic, agapao love (ie. true, undying, unconditional love for others) for the other party.

Half truths, witholding information, manipulation, white lies, using truth as a weapon, and self-serving statements will all kill trust.

No one easily trusts incompetent people, or those who say one thing and then do something else.

Trust is the necessary foundation for agapao  love.  Agapao love is an excellect place to find a trustworthy person.  It is like a layer cake, a layer of trust, then a layer of love, then more trust, then a layer of stronger & deeper love, going on layer after layer, forever.

Bible References

The relevant Bible verses mentioned in the first video are:  Deut 24:1-4, Isaiah 50:1, Jer 3:8, Malachi 2:16, Mat 5:28, 31-32, 19:3-9; Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Rom 7:1-3, 1 Cor 7:11,15, 27, 28

[Deu 24:1 KJV] When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house.

 [Deu 24:2 KJV] And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's [wife].

 [Deu 24:3 KJV] And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife;

 [Deu 24:4 KJV] Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance.

 [Isa 50:1 KJV] Thus saith the LORD, Where [is] the bill of your mother's divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors [is it] to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.

 [Jer 3:8 KJV] And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

 [Mal 2:16 KJV] For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for [one] covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

 [Mat 5:31 KJV] It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:

 [Mat 5:32 KJV] But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 [Mat 5:28 KJV] But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

 [Mat 19:3 KJV] The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

 [Mat 19:4 KJV] And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female,

 [Mat 19:5 KJV] And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 

[Mat 19:6 KJV] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

 [Mat 19:7 KJV] They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

 [Mat 19:8 KJV] He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

 [Mat 19:9 KJV] And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

 [Mar 10:11 KJV] And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

 [Mar 10:12 KJV] And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

 [Luk 16:18 KJV] Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from [her] husband committeth adultery.

 [Rom 7:1 KJV] Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?

 [Rom 7:2 KJV] For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to [her] husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband.

 [Rom 7:3 KJV] So then if, while [her] husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

 [1Co 7:11 KJV] But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife.

 [1Co 7:15 KJV] But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.

 [1Co 7:27 KJV] Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

 [1Co 7:28 KJV] But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

Epilog

I invite both men and women to share their personal experiences in separation, divorce, and reconciliation in the comments section below.

Is my advice to Bill truly biblical?  Does it make sense in the crazy world of today?  Is there other advice you can offer to Bill?

Who we are

King James Bible Church ("KJBC") is a Christian, Sabbath keeping, non-denominational, home-based church, with no religious dogma except the King James Bible as the best available source of God's Word; living as Born Again Christians in God's 26 Commandments for Christians (10 in OT, 16 in NT).

War, Fear, & Fear of War

Bible says "don't be afraid" or similar 365 times (once for every day?).

Bible also say in End Times there will be "war and rumors of war".

God has a plan, and is working His plan.

God is well aware of Satan's plan to scare everybody so badly that people eagerly seek Satan's deceiving offer of peace and security.

Trust in Jesus, He speaks the truth through the Bible.

Jesus will protect you far better than any Bug Out Bag, or Prepping that you can do.

The Lie of Christian Persecution

This is a huge lie.  This lie has already cost thousands of innocent people their lives.  Allowing this lie to continue will cost millions more (maybe as many as billions) people their lives in the very near future.

Unfortunately most people believe this lie.  Most people practice this lie.  Yes, even most Christians regulary practice this lie.

All lies are of Satan.  Therefore all who practice these types of lies are acting for Satan, and are against God.

I used to practice this lie too.  By posting this, I repent that former lie, and ask for God's forgiveness and cleansing.

I want to expose this lie and the evil that it causes, contributes to, or enables.

I am not the first who warns of this lie.

At Christmas, a video was released of 11 Christians who were forced to wear orange jumpsuits, then they were beheaded by Islamic Jihadist terrorists.  They died because they were Christians.  It was't just these 11 Christians who have been killed.  More than 16,000 Christians in Nigeria have been killed due to their religion in the last 3 years.

Islamic Jihad terrorists consider Christians to be worthy of death.  Similar Islamic terrorism was practiced by Mohammad (the founder of Islam), and has continued on a repeated, similar basis ever since, down through the last 1,370 years.

Most Muslims claim that Islam is a religion of peace, and that Islamic jihad terrorists misinterprit the Q'uran.

I understand that all or most Q'urans are printed or approved by a central Islamic authority.  Madras schools that teach Islam are often funded, supported, and overseen by local mosques, or these central authorities.  If there are a few verses in the Q'uran that are often misinterpreted, has there not been sufficient time passed (ie. more than 1,370 years since Mohammad) to correct these misinterpretations, add a clarifying footnote, add an Islam course in the Madras schools, and similar efforts?

Muslims continue to reassure, argue and promote this "Islam is a religion of peace" mantra for more that 1,300 years.  However, terrorism and murder continues to be done in the name of Islam.  Their assertion is clearly contradicted by the objective evidence.  Hopefully, all Muslims will soon reach a state of Cognitive Dissonance (ie.  It is a sign of insanity to continue to believe "A" when there is overwhelming quantity and quality of objective evidence proving that "A" is a lie).

Occupation under ISIS and other Islamic extremists quickly convinced the people in Syria, Iraq, and elsewhere about how much love and peace could be found under Islam.  That is why more Muslims have converted to Christianity in the last 15 years than since Islam began 1400 years ago. 

Once a Muslim converts to Christianity, they become a prime target for persecution by their family, neighbours, community, former Imam, local Warlord (ISIS or otherwise) and national government.  Some converts to Christianity are killed immediately, others are offered a choice:

• become a Muslim again, 

or

• die as a Christian.

Free choice of conversion adds to the rabid hatred of those who have always been Christians.  These life-long Christians in Islamic countries are also persecuted and killed.  Muslims want their countries to become monoblocks of 100% Muslim.

Clearly, Mohammad was a War Lord.  Mohammad's Qu'ran calls on all Muslims to jihadism, and to kill the infidels (NB:   "Infidels" is defined as all non-Muslims, including Christians).  ISIS and other Islamists have been acting as a Warlord, following Mohammad's example.

However, it isn't just Muslim jihad terrorists who are involved in this Satanic lie.

Christians, pagans, atheists, agnostics, and most others are also guilty of this lie.

This type of lie has been around for quite some time.  While it may have been described by a different title over the years, perhaps this lie and sin is as old as Adam & Eve.

More recently, Mark Twain wrote about the "lie of silent assertion" around the 1900's.

Mark Twain described how this same technique of lying was used to permit slavery to occur and continue in USA, and that slavery was only denounced after Christian Ministers of the Northern States started to speak against slavery on Sunday sermons.

Beside persecution in the Middle East, developing world, and Third World (95 countries in all) we also have the Lie Of Silent Assertion in the Bible, Christian dogma (contrast & compare different denominations), salvation, and iniquity.  All these and more are hot points of avoidance, & more lies of silent assertion today.

I do not want to be involved with any lie of silent assertion, half truths, avoidance, sugar coating, euphemisms, willful blindness, nor anything similar.

The lie of silent assertion is a passive lie, and a passive sin.  Some say:

"Ignore it, and it will go away"

However, we can be guilty of turning a blind eye to something, also called willful blindness.  If someone has a duty of due diligence, or to properly manage, steward, or protect, then wilfull blindness can be a crime or a tort, making the victim able to seek compensation.

In the Bible, Ephesians 5:11 tells us:

“Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them”

I have spoken up against the slaughter of Christians.  Will you do likewise?

Pew Research has shown that 95 countries in the world will persecute people for having a prohibited faith; Christianity being the most persecuted of all, more than 245 Million Christians around the world.  Approximately 75% of the world's population live under the constant threat of persecution and death from choosing a religion.

Today, every 6 minutes someone is killed for being a Christian.

It is estimated that 58% of the 7 Million refugees from Iraq and Syria are Christians, subject to persecution, torture, attack, or death.  Now is the worst time for Christian persecution since 300 AD.

Witness the evidence here:

https://htp.org

Video on Christian Persecution: Statistics & Testimonies

If you choose to ignore or procrastinate this lie, you are:

• Strengthening your sin muscle;
• Crushing the Holy Spirit within you;
• Making it more likely that you will sin, lie, or accept them in the future;
• Becoming more and more fossilized in lies and sin over time.  

There are 7 degrees of lies, you are on your way to earning your 7th Degree Black Belt in the art of lying and sin.

Remember these persecuted Christians.  End your lie of silent assertion.

Protect all those who will be persecuted next.

Remember the post-war confession first made in German in 1946 by the German Lutheran pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984). His poem is about the cowardice of German intellectuals and certain clergy (including, by his own admission, Niemöller himself) following the Nazis' rise to power and subsequent incremental purging of their chosen targets, group after group, as follows:

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.